At the time of writing, it’s the space between Christmas and New Years, that weird block where I’m not exactly sure what day it is, happily full of cookies, and time moves with the day-off-but-imminent-working anxiety of a Sunday. I’m using this strange energy to write and reflect.
Before we dig in, it’s an important piece of context that I’m trying to get better at celebrating victories.
I was at a conference this year, and someone came up and gave me a compliment. I immediately deflected and negated it, and the person looked at me and said: “I can give you your flowers, but it’s up to you to water them.”
I was floored. He was so right. If you’re out there reading this, thank you. You have no idea how much that meant to me.
Work
This year marks my second complete year at Google, and I’m finding it satisfying, rewarding, and challenging (in a good way). I’m excited to say I was promoted to Senior Director of Engineering, and now run Android, iOS, and Multiplatform Core Infrastructure, in addition to the Web Core Infrastructure teams I have been running. The increase in scope is something I feel honored to be entrusted to run. Folks I work with are capable, thoughtful and hardworking. I love working with them and what we’re building. I honestly can’t believe I get to be surrounded with such smart people.
It’s thrilling to run a department that builds and maintains the infrastructure that powers all of Google’s apps: Search, Gmail, Docs, Sheets, YouTube, Maps, and more. It’s a tough job. I took it to learn and grow, and this is proving to be true. Yet there’s still so much more I want to learn.
Since I’ve been in Web platform land for ~20 years, having only written a couple mobile apps ages ago, I’ve been learning more about both Android and iOS as part of my expanded role. I’ve been building some apps but also making these drawings to understand the internals a little better:
Infrastructure is some of the most interesting and important work we as engineers can do, but it’s often misunderstood. I think the industry did itself a great disservice when it started trying to understand company finances via “cost” and “profit” centers. Infrastructure is interesting because the more you invest in it, the more dividends you reap across all facets: you can move product easier because there’s better developer experience and less tech debt, you can make subsequent improvements to systems easier because you can leverage new advancements in technology, you can build and release with more frequency and confidence. Yet, people consistently devalue this crucial work. Someday I’ll write more about this. It’s an important subject that stands some time and collective discussion.
There’s a lot we’re working on that I can’t mention for various reasons, but I can say, I’ve been considering WASM more lately. Many think about WASM capabilities in terms of work on the client, for work that’s performance sensitive, for good reason. However, I’m interested in WASM beyond the browser. Especially in terms of code portability. WASM is compelling for many reasons, and I think we’re just starting to see it evolve to where it needs to be to be leveraged for much more across infrastructure use cases.
You may notice I’m not as active in open source anymore, especially compared to the days of the past when I worked on personal and contributing projects. My job now is extremely demanding of my time and energy. I actually love this about it, I love a challenge, especially when I’m aligned to the mission.
My remaining energy must therefore be intentionally placed. I have chosen friends and family, nutrition/exercise, reading, some personal coding. And travel, when I can swing it. I like to go for long walks in nature and listen to audiobooks, and then come home and read some more- the past few years I’ve read 50 books a year, and I think I’ll do that again this year.
Home and Family Life
A few years back I wrote about Dizzy’s health and how he had relapsed during the pandemic, and was undergoing a crucial but very experimental treatment called CAR T therapy. Thankfully, not only did he survive, but he’s gone the most years in remission he has ever had (2 years!) in the 13 years since he’s been diagnosed with lymphoma. HOORAY! This is the best update.
The kids are wonderful, and I don’t wish to share too much here to protect their privacy, but they are the best and almost all taller than me now, which they lorde over my head quite literally. Being with them is some of the greatest joy I experience in this life.
Oh yeah, and we got a third dog, who is more like a chaos roomba than an animal. His name is Pico, because he is smol and also like the Nano text editor:
Press enter or click to view image in full size
Probably the most important update is that for 5 long years, Jason Lengstorf has been torturing and taunting me with falsehoods that his burger skills are better than mine, in tweets…
And even making a full site that he invited me to collaborate on.
I’m happy to share that we invited nearly 20 people over for a grill off and I won! I won this magnificent burger belt that Jason made for the winner that strangely only fits him… nevertheless, I will cherish and wear it forever.
Nutrition and Fitness
I have ramped up more on personal fitness- nutrition and exercise. Watching Dizzy go through what he did, and my own health issue a while ago has made me more grateful for the health I have and wanting to cultivate it more.
This year marked a couple of milestones:
- Averaged 5 days of exercise a week, mostly running, weight lifting, swimming, and walking.
- Averaged 11K steps a day
- Ran my first 10K
A lot of this is cumulative- it’s interesting to me that people often think of exercise as a bandaid or something you do and *poof*, you’re in shape. But I’ve found it’s commitment over the long haul. I’m not really interested in running longer distances, I’m happy for this to just be a way to be out in nature and have a much needed break from screens and work/family pressure.
Though there are clear benefits to physical health, the one I care about the most is my mental health. I notice that when I take care of my body well, I can show up for other people better, have more cognitive resilience, and generally think more clearly.
It’s funny how something that takes time from your schedule actually gives time and energy back in dividends.
The other thing this does is allow me to keep promises to myself. I’ve noticed over time how critical this is for my confidence. I don’t like to go back on my word, and in the past I’ve seen keeping promises to others to be important but not paid much attention to what promises I keep for myself. Telling myself I’m making a commitment and seeing it through makes a marked difference on how I see the world and myself in it. I’m not perfect and life happens but I make an effort to be more purposeful now.
The Book and Giving Back
I somehow conned one of the best orators I know, Phil Hawksworth, into making an audio version of my book! Sadly I haven’t found the time to publish this yet but I will soon. He’s a marvel and I’m sure my book will sound more sophisticated coming from him, but know he probably changed s to z and color to colour which I don’t stand by.
Thank you to everyone who bought it so far! Half of all proceeds have gone to SheCodeAfrica, which is a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering and celebrating girls and women in technology across Africa. I am completely in awe of their work. They have used the funds to do things like run conferences, buy computers for newcomers to the industry, and give classes and workshops!
Gratitude
It’s very strange to me the way my life has meandered. I’m so grateful for where things are now. It can be easy to get caught up in the struggle of the day to day and not step back and appreciate what we have.
When I build playlists for my runs, I sometimes put on old “personal classics”- things I used to listen to at other stages in my life that I’ve forgotten about.
What’s strange is how much a song brings me immediately back to those moments. I’m immediately transported: to school, to Greece, where I lived for years. To when I came back to San Francisco. For many, many, years of my life I was so broke I had to fast involuntarily to get by, and it was… well, it was very stressful. I worked very hard to turn that around, and of course, luck and privilege played a part too.
At this moment, at the end of 2023, I can’t believe how different life is. I feel so much gratitude for what’s going well and renewing my appetite and energy to take on more next year. And hopefully get a little better at managing it, too.